I value friendships very deeply. I do not give them out like candy and I also am not some elitist that thinks you should have to do a training course to be a friend. A friendship to me is half selfish and half selfless. I want you to be my friend for x,y,z reasons. That is the selfish part. I want to be your friend because I feel I add to you a,b,c. That all sounds very simple but in the real scenarios of people - it seldom is. Once a friend, I should be able to not see you for years (it is not dependent on time span of last visit) walk up to you and start talking like as if there was never a beat missed in the song. It should be genuine interest and excitement. I love seeing old friends, I love spending time with my friends - but I also value time and that which I can not control. So, If I do not see you for years or months or days - this is not a reflection on our relationship - It is just a test which incorporates the factors of time and relevancy.

I have just learned that one of my good friends misses “our time”. Nothing else needed to be said about that - my only response was that

My time is not only mine but my family’s, my wife, my daughters - not to mention the healthy one’s own time - I battle this balance daily. And I lose more than I win - so I am learning.

I have guides for myself - They are painless and yet excruciating some days to fulfill:

• Wake up and be happy that you did - you have a day to add something and possibly make up where you did not the day before.
• Treat people as you expect to be treated - This if put into various situations - is not so simple.
• Live life with passion - If you have no passion they you will not succeed. Point blank.Proven Fact
• Never go to bed mad - Settle it - even if it takes all night.
• Have conviction - Decide and act. Stand up and giv’er. There is nothing worse dealing with someone that can not make a decision or a choice.

All this to say is that one of my most proud friendships fell down into a place where neither of us could really help it until it was ready and - just maybe - maybe - It’s getting its footing back. We will see.